Written by Pointer

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

image for This Day in History - March 25 Drunk desires balance

Today is Wednesday, March 25, the 84th day of 2009. There are 281 days left in the year.

Today's Highlight in History:

On March 25, 1965, the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. led 25,000 marchers to the state capitol in Montgomery, Ala., to protest the denial of voting rights to blacks.20,ooo voted to get their black asses out of the backward south and move among the northern racist whites.

On this date:

In 1634, English colonists sent by Lord Baltimore arrived in present-day Maryland.They entrusted Sir Calvin Ripken the Second with the establishment of a miserable losing baseball team.

In 1865, during the Civil War, Confederate forces attacked Fort Stedman in Virginia but were forced to withdraw by counterattacking Union troops. Lady Oprah the Large claimed that Stedman was named after her imaginary boyfriend.

In 1894, Jacob S. Coxey began leading an ''army'' of unemployed from Massillon, Ohio, to Washington to demand help from the federal government.Coxey protested the government bailouts for everyone but the poor.

In 1918, French composer Claude Debussy died in Paris, drowning in La Mer.

In 1911, 146 people, mostly female immigrants, were killed when fire broke out at the Triangle Shirtwaist Company in New York. From this time forward garment companies would pay potential immigrants to stay in their own countries to save the cost of US labor and cleaning up roasted flesh.

In 1947, a coal mine explosion in Centralia, Ill., claimed 111 lives.The rich mine owners slept soundly through the big bang and saved thousands by hiring new inexperienced workers who caused new money saving explosions annually.

In 1957, the Treaty of Rome established the European Economic Community. Votes for calling the new union of European nations, the EEU numbered right around zero.

In 1975, King Faisal of Saudi Arabia was shot to death by a nephew with a history of mental illness. (The nephew was beheaded in June 1975.)Many of the late kings other insane nephews were trained as pilots to keep them busy so they wouldn't hatch more destructive plots against Saudi royalty.

In 1988, in New York City's so-called ''Preppie Killer'' case, Robert Chambers Jr. pleaded guilty to first-degree manslaughter in the death of 18-year-old Jennifer Levin. (Chambers received a sentence of 5 to 15 years in prison; he was released in 2003.)Chambers went on to have plenty of rough sex in the joint, not usually consensual.

In 1990, 87 people, most of them Honduran and Dominican immigrants, were killed when fire raced through an illegal social club in New York City.Barbecuing immigrants has been a NYC tradition.

Ten years ago: NATO aircraft and missiles blasted targets in Yugoslavia for a second night, directing much of their fire on Kosovo, where fighting raged between Serbs and ethnic Albanians. Alexei Yagudin won the men's title for the second time at the World Figure Skating Championships held in Helsinki.Alexei was killed by a NATO smart bomb while on the medal stand.

Five years ago: Congress passed the Unborn Victims of Violence Act, making it a separate offense to harm a fetus during violent federal crime. Harming born children by harsh economic oppression received the National review Economics medal. The United States vetoed a U.N. Security Council resolution condemning Israel's assassination of Hamas leader Ahmed Yassin. National review gave Yassin's assassins the Bill Buckley Jr Sure Shot Award. Russian Evgeni Plushenko won his third world figure skating title, defeating French rival Brian Joubert.Plushenko skated to tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture.

One year ago: The Defense Department said it had mistakenly shipped electrical fuses for an intercontinental ballistic missile to Taiwan. (Once the error was discovered, the military quickly recovered the four fuses.) Herb Peterson, the inventor of McDonald's Egg McMuffin, died in Santa Barbara, Calif., at age 89.The missile fuses were hidden in Big Macs causing Petersen to commit Hari Kiri.


Thought for Today: ''In every person, even in such as appear most inebriated, there is an inherent desire to attain balance.'' -- Jakob Wassermann, German author (1873-1934).

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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