Written by Bureau

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

image for Comments From Andy Rudey Still Using The Two-Finger Peck Method

What is it these days with people serving you at restaurants or at a grocery deli putting on rubber gloves? It's like they're going to have to operate on the chicken you ordered before they serve it to you.

It always makes me apprehensive.

What if, say, the night before two people were in the back room or kitchen secretly about to have sex and the woman suddenly says, "I won't do it unless you use a condom" and he doesn't have one?

What does he do? Well, he could very well look at this box of rubber gloves, grab one out and put his manhood in the middle finger hole.

They may even go at it twice because the first time, the glove turns out to be wilder than a french tickler with all those other fingers flying and flinging all about!

So they go at it a second time, this time he's using the thumb hole and she's going crazy.

However, those are tight fits and could cut off the circulation and he has to hurry up before he gets numb.

Afterward, he's afraid someone will come in and catch them so he hurriedly flings the thing back into the glove box!

The next day I come in and order a pastrami on rye. I suddenly overhear the lady serving, "Boy this glove sure went on fast."

I don't know about you but I'd much rather find a hair in my sandwich than a piece of a guys penis that's fallen off became he cut off his circulation the night before.

The key here is: Always LISTEN for that giveaway remark, "Boy, this glove sure went on fast!"

Walk right back out the door.

I'm Andy Rudey.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
More by this writer
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story



Go to top
55 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more