Homer Simpson, the dad character on the hit TV series, The Simpsons, is based upon President Teddy Roosevelt's brother, Homer Roosevelt, who was always bullying Teddy!
Watching a common housefly crawl up the side of the wall as you lie on your bed and meditating deeply about it for an hour or more, can raise your IQ by a whole point!
The old commercial, "Winston tastes good like a (Clap, Clap) cigarette should" did not have the claps in it until prostitutes started smoking them regularly in Mexico City!
You can actually sharpen the blades on a lawn mower by occasionally running them through a brier patch!
The diet of the average American teen gives them no more than 10 percent of the nutrition that a dog receives upon eating a single pile of cowshit!
The terrible state of the average American's teeth in the southern states has gotten so bad that, 9.9 out of 10 babies born there, are born with NO teeth!
One of the key ingredients to some of the world's most famous and costly perfumes is taken from a Bobcat's piss, but ONLY when it's marking it's territory!
The famous prophet, Nostradamus, made most of his predictions while picking his teeth with a porcupine quill after a big meal of and ravioli with porcupine balls!
Among items left behind by Hitler in his bunker was the gun he used to shoot himself, a ball of twine, a love note from Mussolini, a condom labeled Extra Small and a book of polish jokes!
It was the American Indians who first learned that buffalo patties would burn longer than wood, and if you cut a pile in half, each half would last as long as the whole! Thus the old Indian expression, "Now why don't you cut the shit and come to bed?"
If you rub the bottom of your feet with the shell of a dead tortoise and say "Lodi, Lodi, Lodi..The Rabbit God!!!", you'll never get hit by lightning!
In first century Rome, they used the mummified heads of old ladies wrapped in strips of leather to play an early version of the fun game of croquet where everyone sang! Almost 2000 years later, John Denver read about it, learned to play the tune from notes and came up with "Grandma's Feather Bed", changing it from the original, "Grandma's Leather Head"!
Every French Poodle dreams about escargot.
During the 1950's, having a fox tail hanging from the ariel wire on your automobile was a sign to all who saw it that you were once again single and were available for dates.
That even the most unbelieving atheist will often call upon some deity or other while enjoying sex!