You *can* get blood from a turnip. Some of nation's biggest doners come from the South.
The character of Mr. Bill was created when Walter William's grandfather rolled over his toy Gumby with his wheelchair and little William shouted "Oh Shit!". He later change "Shit!" to "No!"
Approximately one-tenth or a tithe of your life is spent trying to remember something.
The skin on the average elephant is so thick, you can call him anything you like or even make fun of it's mother without it even batting an eye.
The sport of basketball actually began with an actual basket hung on a post that farmer's cut and threw the balls of castrated hogs into, to eat later as a delicacy.
The only song a dog has ever heard was "Tiptoe Through The Tulips", which most of them like so much you'll often see one doing that very thing in some tulips, before they bite you because you caught him at it.
The First television was actually created by John Jay Pattern. The industry honored him for many years by putting a "Pattern" on the screen when no shows were on.
The average amount of shit from a single buluga whale poop contains enough trace minerals to fill five train car loads of Almways Chewable Vitamins Plus!
King Henry VIII was the first to coin the phrase, "What's the old Battleaxe doing now?"
Before Joseph Merrick, The Elephant Man, became famous at the Big Top, he spent most of his days riding kids on his back for five cents a ride, helping roadies drive in tent pegs and fleeing for his life when he saw a mouse.
In 1834, a Parisian street mime died in agony waving his arms at passers-by who applauded while street urchins filled his invisible cube with water until he drowned.
Piss from bats have a boiling point five times that of human piss.
The saying "A penny saved is a penny earned" was coined by Benjamin Franklin and has been passed down for 250 years, although no one yet knows what it means, not even Franklin who claimed he was drunk.
If you lined up the average number of bananas from a banana tree (74) end to end and turned a hungry monkey lose on them, he'll eat himself to death in...let's see...Is he dead yet? Sure? one hour, fifty-five minutes and six seconds.
Only one out of ten thousand oysters are able to turn a grain of sand into a beautiful pearl. The rest will produce imperfect pearls, half pearls, hernias, pop beads and oyster shit.