Written by Rula Nation

Friday, 20 March 2009

In the first of my articles which will each describe an aspect of everyday Swedish life, we'll get to see what often constitutes a typical immigrant nuclear family, in this nation famous for it's welcoming raconteurs.

Sweden: a country where the only definite way of making sure it's farmers don't start poking the livestock is to dupe them into signing television programme contracts that give them the chance to meet/mate with real humans on shows called things like The Farmer Wants a Wife.

Bearing this fact in mind, this spoofer is heartened by the recent decent response to the discovery of a fucking great horse found living in an apartment with a whole goddam family.

In a obscene or ironic non Scooby Doo like twist of fate, it was in fact the janitor whom blew the whistle on skulduggery, when confronted by steaming great pools of piss and humongous fly-blown piles of shit left by the recently departed omnivorous quadruped and it's owners.

"What might be good for goose, is not always good for the gander", said janitor, Olof Lucy with a mournful hint of self mockery, probably bourne from the fact he himself permanently stinks of shit anyway.

According to the curtain twitching neighbours, the 77 square metre apartment also stabled the man's partner, his adult son, a four-year-old daughter, three dogs and three cats.

The living room was used as a stable, terrace as a compost heap and the bath as a manger, no crib for a bed.

This herd as of sometime last week, was still unavailable for comment, yet this spoofer cannot help but laugh, laugh, laugh at the prospect that this Borat-esque habitat may have potentially been housing the eagerly awaited sequel, to the Christian 'Messiah'- Jebus, Episode I - A No Hope.

Reports indicate the possibly messianic menagerie have been moved on to a neighboring village.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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