Written by Skoob1999

Saturday, 21 February 2009


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image for A Love Story Anyone Who Had A Heart

I had reason to go up into the attic a couple of days ago, and as I did so I stumbled upon the strangest thing.

There was a large box there which I hadn't noticed before.

Intrigued somewhat, I opened the box.

Within, I discovered some shoes, a couple of tee shirts, and a manuscript, all neatly typed out on A4 paper.

Not being able to help myself, I started to read it.

This is what it said:


I'll never forget that moment. I was at the disco, they were playing 'Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel' by Tavares, and our eyes met across a crowded room.

She was breathtakingly beautiful.

I was transfixed, couldn't take my eyes off her.

"Come on! It's your round, get 'em in!" my best mate Wazza yelled into my ear.

But I didn't hear him.

I could only stare at those great big, beautiful eyes, and then as I looked down, I saw that the rest of her was worth a once over as well.

Well rounded up top, trim waist, not too big in the hips.

I stood up.

I could see that she was watching me.

I just had to go and say hello to this vision of loveliness, but I've never been a Casanova. What am I going to say to her?

Who cares?

I'm doing it, I'm walking over to her table and I have no idea what I'm going to say.

"Where you going?" Wazza yells, but I don't hear him.

My heart's pounding like Keith Moon playing the drums on acid.

I'm walking on air, and thinking that this could be the greatest mistake I've ever made in my life.

But I keep walking in her direction.

She's like a magnet.

Then - disaster.

Some other guy sits down next to her and they start to chat, although I can still see she has one eye on me, and a very sexy eye at that.

So I walked over, all casual, and as I did I hatched a plan, it came instantaneously, a shit or bust plan.

As I approached the table she looked up at me with those achingly beautiful eyes and I knew right then that I had to shit or get off the pot.

"Where the fucking hell were you?" I said to her, praying to God that she'd catch on to my drift.

"Sorry," she says, looking sooo beautiful.

"Sorry my arse," I said, sitting down next to her, blanking the other guy. "I've been waiting for you for ages. Where you been?"

At which point, the guy starts getting nervous.

"Erm..." he sort of says.

"Fuck off," I tell him.

He looks embarrassed, makes an excuse and fucks off.

As I look into this vision of beauty's eyes I can feel the sparks begin to fly. She pouts those gorgeous lips a little and says:

"Hello Mister cheeky chappie. What's your name then?"

At which point the DJ plays Stevie Wonder's 'Isn't She Lovely.'

Three words.

Hook. Line. Sinker.

I was in love.

If you want more on this story, then rate it with a star or two. It's all wine and roses at the moment, but as life is, some things can go disastrously tits up.

No ratings, no more story.

If there's sufficient interest I'll carry on.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Love, Marriage, Sex
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