Written by rfreed

Sunday, 15 February 2009

image for Bush Fights His Status As 'Worst President" "Now Lookee Here! Ah Am Too Smart!"

"Ah really don't think its fair to label me the worst President ever." said Bush II to the assembled historian conference. "After all, Ah wuz re-elected! That counts fur sumpthin'."

He stopped to take a sip from a beer, a luxury he could afford now that the cameras were all on Obama and not on him. "Now take Herbert Hoover. He was always said to be the worst and he wuz only one term. I got him beat! What about Taft? That guy was so fat they had to make a special bath tub for him! They say I'm maybe the most fit President ever. See, I am number one at something!"

"What about your father? He had only one term." asked Helmut Geekneck, Harvard Historian.

A rare flash of anger crossed Bush's face. "Let's not go there!" he said warningly. "That's mah Pa yer talkin' about. Both John Adams and John Q. Adams were one term Presidents and father and son. Nobody sez nothing bad about them, do they? No one was screaming patrimony back then, were they?" He took another chug.

"Carter and his peanuts wuz another one. Look at the way his democrat ways almost ruined the economy. Hah!"

"Look at Nixon. Almost got impeached! How is that for a loser."

"He was a Republican. " reminded Mrs Mary Fairmind, author of 'One Term Presidents- What A Bunch Of Losers'.

"Oh...forgit I said that. He musta had the Democrats trying to trip him up the same way they dun to me."

"The main reason we are reviewing your record so severely, Mr. Bush, is because you and your administration did more in your time in office to turn this country into a dictatorship than did anyone previously. You and Mr. Cheney have shown an almost total disregard for the Constitution, the sovereignty of foreign countries and international law. In terms of degrading this nation and its freedoms, sir, you are the worst President of all." stated James Chippingdale, professor of history, Yale.

"Now just hold on there! What about these other one hit wonders? Andrew Johnson?"

"Dishonored for attempting to uphold Lincoln's rebuilding of the South."

"Theodore Roosevelt?"

"War hero, created National Park system."

"See, he's responsible for miners and oil men from using valuable land! John F. Kennedy?"

"Assassinated during his first term."

"Oops, that's right. Lets see, I had one more here..." he peeks at a list. "Oh yeah, A..Abr...Abraham....let's see...Abraham Li....Abraham Lincoln!"

"Sir, please, just accept that you are the worst. Please just accept your fate and go out quietly rather than in a blaze of stupidity."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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