Written by dgwest7

Wednesday, 14 January 2009

How this miraculous find came about is not known, but some clues are given by the documents themselves. These Hand-caligraphed documents were found just fourteen hours ago, hidden between three pages of The Art of War, in the wall of a sixth floor house that was being demolished in Old Street, Kunming Yunnan. Most of the past fourteen hours have been spent in feverishly authenticating the documents, but finally they have been declared as being of identical handwriting to that of Mao Zedong.

There had been serious doubt about the authenticity because Mao Zedong never was thought to have been in Kunming and also because the ideas presented are completely opposite to the public face displayed by Mao.

According to the best available translators, the documents state the following:

He was being used as a tool for a mind control experiment, and he knew it, but there was nothing he could do about it. He was being sucked into the communist way of thinking too fast for his liking. The wheels were in motion, and there was no way of stopping them. In the same way as the lone bedraggled tree on the bleak horizon grows into a huge forest, then this lone figure of Mao Zedong grew out of the revolutionary army that had already vanquished the two-thousand-year-old Chinese Imperial regime, and blossomed into support from almost one billion people..

"The US must stop its hostile policy"

"The single obstacle to a peaceful world is the hostility of the American people. They simply are not prepared to accept that we are all equal. They have got to be one better. And they've got to have a gun to say they are better. This one small part of the culture of the majority of American individuals is reflected in the size of the governments desense budget. (pun intended)

I wonder at the ability of the Americans to understand the following simple words:

"Thou shalt not kill"

They are not religious words, they are natural human words. This is a very good rule for all humans to follow. We know that there have been complaints about the American education system, but even with that handicap, it still remains possible for many people to understand the above sentence.

We Chinese, and the rest of the world are waiting for the American people to give up their right to bear arms. None of us wants to waste any time, money, or brainless activity on anything to do with killing people. That is a reasonable start to a universally acceptable level of peace. So if you seriously believe that to be true, then why do you believe that needing the right to own a gun is a beneficial thing for society. Come on! Grow up. We stopped playing cowboys and Indians before Captain Pugwash was sailing the seas with Master Bates. Can't you see just how much planetary stress you are creating. Can't you see that there would be no need for any country to have to finance any armed forces, if you just got rid of all of your guns.

Just because you have such a huge military budget, more than twice as much as the entire European union if it had been created yet, and more than ten times as much as China, and because you are such a hostile race, then every other country in the world has to maintain some kind of defence, thus wasting many more trillions of earth's resources on entirely useless American egotism. It's time this stopped....ceased..finished.........enough is enough (the Chinese characters here are very shaky) stopped, and if Americans cannot see their way forward to a sensible peaceful world, the they must be treated as a separate independent enemy."

So endeth the secret words of Chairman Mao.

However, there are rumours of the existence of other documents. I'll try to keep you posted.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Archeology, China
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