Written by Karlone

Sunday, 4 January 2009

image for Interview with a stormtrooper

Interviewer: I am joined by ex-lackey of the Empire. So since the downfall of the Empire what have you been up to?

Stormtrooper: Travelling mostly, I've been trying to find a planet called Earth.

Interviewer: You're on Earth now, and what do you mean trying to find this planet?

Stormtrooper: Give me a cheeseburger and I'll tell you.

Interviewer: No. What did you do during your travels?

Stormtrooper: I've been trying to start a new life but you can't go buy a scratchcard without a nutter trying to hit you with a massive glowstick and throwing things in a levatating way. Don't ever go to Tatooine,the Sarlacc has issues it just keeps eating and eating, the little fatty.

Interviewer: Have you met anyone special?

Stormtrooper: Yes a few but I'm a person who likes to stick to humans, but there's too many near-humans who look human and you get laughed at for going out with someone who isn't human.

Interviewer: Found any work recently?

Stormtrooper: I tried having ago at bounty hunting seeing as Boba fett disppeared; I thought I'd do alright with my military experiance but with Dog the bounty Hunter and his family around, I shouldn't even bother.

Interviewer: You ever been to Uranus?

Stormtrooper: No but to your wife's I have.

Interviewer: Okay next question; has any of your employers tried hiring you again?

Stromtrooper: yeah actually seeing as they are both dead; It was proper scary having watched Ghostbusters 2 and Palpatine in a ghost form saying I should travel to Korriban to revive the ancient Sith; but I said no cos space travel prices were way too up and the Univer Credit Crunch wasn't helping either.

Interviewer: Just one last question; do you have a family?

Storomtrooper: Yes all of us were born in tubes and when I turned ten I got thrown into a battle with robots, that's just wrong, you wouldn't throw a six year old in a place with explosions going off, six year olds usually get given a rifle and learn to use it.

Interviewer: Okay that's all the time we have thank you and may the force be with you.

Stormtrooper: Bye

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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