Written by Bureau

Sunday, 14 December 2008

image for A Word From Tom Mullarkey

"The long, uphill battle against rolling accidents, such as overloaded shitwagons."

According to Malarkey.

The "mindless" attempts by government and the gumby society at large to eliminate all dangers in life are threatening personal freedom, says Tom Mullarkey, chief of the U.K.'s Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents & Gumbys.

"The application of common sense and adult diapers is much more reasonable than the seeking of mindless excrements uh...increments towards 'absolute safety'," he said, which is "a destination which is neither feasible nor, in all probability, feasable, however you spell it, since it would come at such a cost to our freedoms."

While some areas obviously need regulation, he says, such as nuclear power, my German Shepherd Elvis and perhaps aviation, individuals should merely be given information on safety and be allowed to make their own warped decisions on whether risks are worth taking, so long as they don't put others in danger, like releasing that kangeroo that kicked three people to death in Manchester.

(London Telegraph)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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