Written by Skoob1999

Saturday, 8 November 2008

image for A Few Of The Most Absurd Ideas In The History Of Mankind Invading Russia Did Fuck All For My Street Cred, Said Napoleon Boneparte Yesterday

'I've got it, we'll invade Russia.' - Adolf Hitler.

'What about Sarah Palin as a running mate?' - ex Presidential Candidate John McCain, oven chip magnate.

'Hang on a sec Yoko, I'll just sign this autograph,' - John Lennon, Dakota Building, Central Park West, NYC. December 1980.

'What the FUCKING HELL'S TH...' The Mayor of Hyroshima, Japan, 1945.

'Ignore Solskjaer, he's not tall enough to be a threat.' -Bayern Munich defender, May 1999, Nou Camp, Barcelona.

'Who's taking the next one?' - John Terry, Chelsea captain to team mates, Moscow, (can't spell the name of the Lusznicki stadium) 2008.

'It'll all blow over Russ mate, no more than a storm in a teacup.' - Jonathan Ross preserves his street cred.

'We've hit the fucking jackpot here Grandad you dopey old git. Wake up and smell the fucking money.' - Satanic Slut, Georgina Baille.

'Let it all hang out,' - Richard Madeley to Judy Finnegan, live TV broadcast , November 2008

'I'll spread you out you soft southern bastard!' - Judy Finnegan to Richard Madeley. Ditto.

'Is this any way to motherfucking behave you cocksucking motherfucking sons of slave trading bitches?' - Barack Obama reduces his rep of tactful and sensitive diplomacy, yet rivals Eminem's reputation as the most out there gangsta rapper following a guest appearance on Richard and Judy's monumental fuck up TV show.

'I'm dying here and nobody seems to give a fuck. Why?' - ex Big Brother contestant, handjob and racist expert non pareil Jade Goody sobs.###

'Am I not gooder than you?'
We don't really know. Give us a clue...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
More by this writer
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Go to top
48 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more