Written by Pointer

Tuesday, 4 November 2008

image for ASSFrFred44Giveness: What gives with new seminary rules!? ASSFRFRED's fudge packing alternative seminary

Dear FRFRED,

I have been applying to Roman Catholic Seminaries now for a dozen years. I thought 12(apostles, tribes of Israel, sons of Jacob) might be my lucky charm. But now the Vatican has issued even tighter restrictions on applicants. Do you think it fair that my desire to live and work and prey, er, I meant, pray among men just like me should be denied after so many Catholic queers have entered the Catholic free for all no holds barred?!

Sure I understand that the pedophilia leaks were bad publicity but shouldn't discretion and not banning be the better part of vocational recruitment. When you ask for an exclusive army of celibate males, shouldn't some butt-fucking be expected , even encouraged to keep the lonely Catholic priest worshipping wives somewhat safe?

Roamin' Catholic Churchman

Dear RCC,

I have to sympathize with you. Had you applied to seminaries in my day , you would have witnessed gay hijinks that would have curled your stockings and stiffened your queer cock, God love ya! I hid vocational material under my matress beside Bikers Boinking Boytoys magazines. We chased each other around the seminary dorm with plungers and many a boypriests cherry was broken on the handle of the plumber's tool.

But now those days are over. Just as sensible people had to accept eight years of Bush-Cheney atrocities , so too, Catholic Queer Folk without the nerve to come out of the closet will have to endure recent vatican backlash. But CQF, we all hope for the coming day when seminaries will be turned back into manboy love leagues and altar boys will once again be fair game. Keep the faith,queer baby!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
More by this writer
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story



Go to top
37 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more