Written by Bureau

Monday, 3 November 2008

An Editorial:

Hello from the Heartland of America, wherever that may be. It's claimed by about twenty different states. Also let me get this off my chest. There, I had the wife sitting on my chest so I couldn't write this because she's a Ralph Nader supporter and makes up two percent of his following.

Before you pull that lever Tuesday or push that button or hang that chad or even, ask for more toilet paper, please listen:

John McCain is a fine man no matter what the television newspeople say. And, Barack Obama seems like a nice guy too so don't believe everything you hear on Talk radio.

Ron Paul...What a Schlub.

Ralph Nader, the wife and 49 others.

I say that a person who will not go out and vote for the candidate of their choice may as well stay at home! And you may quote me on that.

John McCain is not 150 years old.

Barack Obama's being quoted as saying we should spread it around more.

I say, the whole bunch have been "Spreading it around" for 18 months now and I'm tired of stepping in it!

That's it from America's Heartland. I'm Joe Steppinshit.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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