Written by colin hal

Tuesday, 22 June 2004

What Ofsted has to say about HPS

“The Head Teacher provides strong and inspirational leadership.”

Very true, especially because everyone kisses his ass and agrees with him about everything or else they’re fired.

If no one is going to disagree with you and just be in agreement with everything you say or else, then that I believe is tyranny.

“The Head Teacher and Deputy Head Teacher share a vision for the school that is underpinned by powerful educational principles.”

Well if you have your head up the head teacher’s ass then yes you will share his vision.

What they fail to mention is that the Deputy Head holds umbrellas over the head masters beautiful shiny head.

They say nothing about him kicking dozens of teachers out of the school, nothing about him bringing in school uniforms even though most students and parents were against it.
Oh well, never mind.

“The school provides an exceptionally attractive and welcome environment for learning.”

Ok I’m getting the idea that they only visited his office, or have only been allowed to walk around the ground floor.

“The school send home a stream of lively, informative newsletters and high quality publications regularly.”

Why thank you very much, but we don’t actually send anything out you dumb fuck, its all on the web. You internet illiterate whack motherfucker!

“Financial planning and management are excellent.”

The Headmaster obviously bribed these cheapskates, and anyway how would they know how well he’s planning financially?

The person who wrote this wasn’t paying attention, me thinks, and then he decided to throw in a typical Ofsted comment.

Especially when people are resigning over payment issues, and the former gates keeper was fired because he asked for a pay rise of 50p.

“The involvement of the school with the community is very good.”

It sure is “very good”, like the comment above, it’s very brief and they don’t even expand on the comment.

If they were pupils in HPS and writing a report about the school, the teachers would tear them a new asshole for writing such a weak point without any examples to back it up.

Are they talking about the time the school held back the parent-teacher meetings?

Holland Parke School

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Ofsted
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