Written by PP Rega

Friday, 31 October 2008

image for Kwame & Ted: Two Commiserating Cons "Here, Big Boy. Try these on for size."

Now that Kwame, the former Mayor of Detroit is in jail and Senator Ted Stevens may soon be joining him, it's not surprising that they'll try to reach out to each other for sustenance and support. Here is a snippet of a conversation accidentally intercepted by Barney Frank's protege' while undercover in a men's room in Butte, Montana:

Kwame: "Hello...hello. Is this Sen. Ted Stevens?"

Ted: "Who wants to know?"

Kwame: "It's me, Ted. Kwame.

Ted: "Oh, sorry, Kwame. I'm just not myself lately."

Kwame: "I totally understand, Ted. I heard about your conviction."

Ted: "The bastards. Who thought up this judicial system anyway?"

Kwame: "I know. I know. Imagine how I feel. All I was doing was trying to get a "little" on the side. Is that so terrible?"

Ted: "You think you got problems. Look at me, man. At least you're young. You can come back and still be a force to reckon with. Like Dick Nixon and Clinton and Mayor Barry."

Kwame: "I guess you're right there. If they can do it, I can do it."

Ted: "Hell, yeah. And you can still get it up. There's nothing left for me. I can OD on Viagra and nothing. The only thing I can get up is that damn "Bridge to Nowhere."

Kwame: "Well, a piece of advice, Ted. I don't care how old and gnarled and decrepit you are. If one of the in-mates drops a bar of soap in the shower -- don't pick it up."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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