Beverly Hills, Ca/ Hollywood Daily - Making good on his recent proclamation to only interview himself on national TV, Barack Hussein Obama II, with help from his friends in Hollywood has pulled off the impossible....side by side interviews with HIMSELF!
Displaying all the adoration that the usual Hollywood A-List can muster, Obama proudly left his footprints in newly poured cement in an entire block, leading up to the Hollywood Bowl, where the interview with himself was conducted.
On hand were the most liberal of Democratic supporters, who had been granted unsupervised leave from local elite Drug Rehab Centers,and even some who had been granted GPS parole from their home detention ankle bracelets in order to attend the gala. Many were drawn to see the charismatic faith healer, but many others said they were just happy to get out from forced incarceration, and to see the half time star studded show.
In keeping with the Obama mandate, there was no moderator for the discussion, which went as follows:
VBHO II:(Virtual BHO) Welcome Barack! As you can see the people LOVE YOU!
BHO II: Thank you Brother, for that ringing endorsement! Hello Brothers and Sisters!!!!! (uncontrolled yelling and applause!)
VBHO: Sure disproves that old adage that you can't fool all the people all of the time! (snickers, aside)
BHO: I got that Shit man...but, don't forget we be in Hollywood, where most dese suckers barely got their GED before becoming Ambassadors to de World!
VBHO: So, Bro, how's it been goin' since you dusted the media?
BHO: It be goin' so fiiiine....smooth as silk. No more pesky questions from those racist reporters trying 'tack my policies. We be good now, it done be too late for reason to enter into the campaign!
VBHO: Tell us about some of your new economic policies.
BHO: Glad you brought that up so I can clarify sometin' on the TV today. They said I promised a tax cut for 95% of Americans. I hadn't seen the new voter tally from ACORN. What I meant to say was that I promise a tax break for 125% of the American Public...whether they really exist or not!! (foot stomping from 80,000 in audience)
VBHO: Well said Bro! We goin' be stylin' soon!
BHO: Xctally! No need of this GM /Chrysler bailout. As soon as that money get freed up there goin' be more stretch Chrysler 300's, Escalades, and tricked out PT Cruisers then the roads can handle. I'm goin' put a 8 lane hi-way right thru Watts so the brother's got some place to show off them wheels!
VBHO: Now you be talkin'. How 'bout grantin' some more likker licenses for after hours clubs so those pro athletes got someplace to let off steam?
BHO: In the hopper, Bro. Gonna offer governmt' day care too, so them momma's can shake their booty all night long!
VBHO:What do you have to say about your new education policies?
BHO: That be a thing of the past, Bro! Education...don't mean nothin'. Look at my VP...never took a test or wrote a paper he didn't cheat on! Education! Shit!
You done seen the last of Harvard, Yale and that type of elite crap. We kept the brothers dumb and stupid in the cities for decades so we could keep gettin' elected. Don't see why it won't work for the rest of the country! We be in CHARGE OF CHANGE, NOW! (more hysterical crowd support)
VBHO: Well, Bro, thanks for stoppin' by to give your fans a chance to worship you! Only a week to go before YOU DA MAN! What's your plan for the first hundred days?
BHO: Get rid of them Honkeys who didn't do shit the first hundred days I gave them in '06! I got my 2,920 day policy ready to go...by the end of those 8 years I'll have enough to retire to Kenya and rule the Gold Coast!
Barbra Striesand begins to sing "What Kind of Fool Am I" as the crowd noise builds ,the credits roll and the picture fades to black.