Written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 16 October 2008

Legendary Neasden hard-nut,gangster and underworld crime kingpin Arthur Pewty granted us an exclusive interview concerning his thoughts on a variety of things.

On Gordon Ramsay:

Fair enough, he can cook a bit, but if he spoke to me like he speaks to some of them people on Hell's Kitchen I'd knock his sodding block off.

On The Leaning Tower Of Pisa:

It's not straight is it? It's not! It's pissed. Only the Italians could make a tourist attraction out of a building code violation.

On Tap Dancing Elephants:

That's just cruel. Elephants were never designed for tap dancing. It's just wrong.

On Al Pacino:

Fair play to him, he's a good actor, but he shouts all the bloody time, a bit like the wife. And, I'll never understand why they keep casting him as a hard-man. He's like, about three foot tall, he can't even see over the top of a car. Just imagine, somebody tells you Al Pacino's gonna get you... You'd shit your pants, with laughter.

On Tom And Jerry:

Do you know, I'd love to see a Tom and Jerry where Tom catches that bastard mouse and tortures him to death. See the blood. Hear the screams. I love cats. I hate mice. End of.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Arthur Pewty
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