Not to be outdone, John McCain called suffering in a POW camp a patriotic act.
Not to be outdone, Barack Obama called suffering to watch your minister on the evening news go bananas over and over again, was a patriotic act.
Not to be outdone, Sarah Palin declared that wearing eyeglasses instead of contact lenses was a patriotic act - but only if it gets most men to vote for you.
Not to be outdone, Joe Biden changed his mind and declared that the greatest patriotic act of all world history is staying Obama's running mate -- while running against the most *attractive* running mate in world history since Cleopatra, who ran alongside Mark Antony for Pharaoh.
...In other news, Sarah Palin's required financial disclosures revealed surprising recent purchases of enormous amounts of stock in LensCrafters® and every other designer eyewear outlet chain. This, once and for all, revealed where all the money went that was originally for the bridge-to-nowhere.