Written by Judge Retort

Tuesday, 7 October 2008

Judge Retort has learned that vice presidential hopefuls Paden and Bilin are planning their own debate of such hand-picked subjects as:

  • Which VP candidate is the sexiest? (...sheesh!)
  • Was television really around in 1929?
  • Was FDR really around in 1929 or was that already Eleanor, wearing his sexy eyewear?
  • Should the losing VP be entitled to some of the winning VP's secret service personnel if the losing presidentical candidate blames and goes after his former running mate?
  • Should snow-making equipment be added to the Vice Presidential residence at taxpayer expense?
  • Can certain animals be kept out back of the vice presidentical residence? ..say, for the sake of argument: huskies, the pet moose, the family polar bear, and the odd visiting caribou?
  • Is cute eyewear truly vice presidential?
  • Should a working vice president go on the occasional polar bear hunt? Should it be the responsibility of the Secretary of State to skin it?? Does the President get a share of the kill?
  • Can the VP's spouse race his snowmobile up and down the Potomac River when it freezes over during winter? There's isn't a speed limit, is there?? (Note: This final debate question is a red herring designed by the Democratan VP candidate to trick his Rupublicratic opponent because he believes she thinks ALL outdoor water freezes solid every winter - unless you chainsaw a hole deep enough for ice-fishing.)
  • Should a working vice president get to ice-fish on the Potomac in winter? Should it be the responsibility of the Secretary of State to clean the fish?? Does the President get a share of the kill and then should he have to invite the VP, the VP's family and pets to the resulting fish fry?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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