Written by IN SEINE

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

image for KNOWING THE RIGHT TIME TO CLEAN HOUSE Don't work too hard!

I clean my house according to some simple principles that are easy to remember:

1. If you have just stepped on something and danced around in pain until you slipped on a magazine, it is probably time to pick up again.

2. If you find your scissors by feeling around your dining room table until you feel something hard of the correct shape, it's time to clear off a few things.

3. If you need a gas mask to open your fridge, you might think about throwing away some of those leftovers.

4. If you drop your comb in the bathroom and you pick it up with more hair than is currently attached to your head, it's time to sweep.

5. If the neighbours are circulating a petition about the state of your garden, you might consider cutting the grass -but only if you've failed to buy them off with a bottle of wine or two.

6. When sorting newspapers, ask yourself if anyone asked for it in the last six months (or the last time you sorted, whichever comes later). If no one has, throw it out.

7. If your feet stick walking across the kitchen floor, it's time to mop.

8. If it takes more than 20 minutes to find your kids when you wake them up in the morning, it's time to have them clean their rooms - use new doll dresses or Power Ranger stuff as incentives.

9. If you haven't seen the floor of your car for a week because of the Happy Meal litter on the floor and 'wash me' is written in the dust on the outside of the car, it's time to take the hint.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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