Written by NickFun

Sunday, 1 June 2008

image for I want to kill a Mockingbird! This is not a mockingbird but it's late and I don't feel like looking for one.

You see, unlike other birds, the mockingbird comes out at night - when I'm trying to sleep! It usually waits until I have turned my light off. As soon as I lay my head down it begins it's cacophony!

It has mastered the songs of every known bird in the area and some that are nowhere near! It does a fantastic frog sound. The nearest frogs, as far as I can see, are 15 miles away at the frog pond.

It also does crickets. We already have crickets here. I see no reason for him to be imitating them.

The most remarkable sound it does is a flock of seagulls. I am a good 2 miles from the ocean so I must assume it once lived near there.

None of these are sounds are conducive to sleeping. I have thought about shooting the thing with my .22 but I don't know exactly where it is and I'm afraid of killing one of the neighbors.

I understand that the mockingbird sings because it is looking for a mate. Would someone please fuck that bird so I can get some sleep!!!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Birds, Sleep
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