Gargantuan Very, Very Reverend Fr Frederick the Great Titslesin has been inundated with questions since Roamin' Catholicism has hit the IT list of religions with Papal visit of Papa Panzer Ratzinger. Over the next few weeks, Fred the Great will be digging himself out from under the male pie, er the mail pile.
Question #1 from Faith Fulcathy from Lincoln, Nebraska:
Dear Great "F",
We in the medieval kingdom of the Lincoln diocese would like to know why lecher in chief Rudy Guliani and his third whore were allowed to receive the most Holy Eucharist, the Body and Blood of Christ himself despite their very pubic position as adulterers!?
Why the Holy Father, the Papa Panzer, the Rottweiler of Roman Religion did not blitzkrieg his way down to the communion rail at St Pat's and stick his thumb in the eye( see my Chocolate Weds encyclical) of the adulterers is beyond me.
We the Catholic clergy have been near perfect in our persecution of adults having consensual sex with other adults.
The flock of cross-dressing pedophiles concelebrating with the Pope, our most popular source of vocations (I have the NY Times photo in my spank bank, right next to the Carmelite vocation brochures the inspired by erection to Very, Very Rev)) were surely shocked by the permissiveness of the former Secretary of the Holy Inquisition.
The only explanation I can come up with is that our wise Papa Panzer knew that the fires of hell would save him the trouble.