Written by K.C. Bell

Saturday, 16 February 2008

image for Psychics, Pundits, Obama and Hillary "Screw who?"

Psychics sit back and look over your shoulder to read the past and future. They insist they see things as clearly as the desk. They haven't a clue who you are, yet they can tell amazing stories. News pundits study opinion polls, scrutinize speeches, writings and voting habits to understand the ranking of the hour's favorite candidate. They give opinions on news programs: "Obama used the word, bitter. He's a goner, elitist. Can't relate to the common man."

Pundits claim that Obama is attracting women voters under sixty, college graduates, size 4, on vegan diets, pursuing graduate studies, while changing a baby's diaper with one hand and working a rolodex with the other. In sharp contrast, Hillary's ladies are less educated, over sixty, with an ax to grind. Look out guys. This female voter wears grandma pants, cooks casseroles that last over a week, drinks instant coffee and has trouble making it up the Rocky steps at the Philadelphia Museum of Art.

Pundits insist, "Don't count Hillary out. She'll pull a Tanya Harding and knee-cap Obama if necessary." We want a Tanya Harding in the White House? And didn't Tanya Harding end up mud wrestling Paula Jones? Same Paula Jones who sued Bill Clinton for unsuitable behavior while Governor of Arkansas?

As Obama continues to run a classy race, the ex-president's wife is scrambling like crazy doing anything to win; recently filmed throwing back a shot of whiskey with the boys and washing it down with a mug of beer. Hiccup! However, it has recently been revealed that in 1995, while at Camp David, Hillary said, "Screw 'em" about the Southern working-class.

That do appear to trump Obama's 'bitter' remark!

With campaign people jumping ship, a husband sabotaging her at every turn, caught in a lie about the Bosnia landing, unpaid campaign bills and delegates switching to Obama, her ship is sinking like the Titanic.

Psychics haven't spoken, but it should have been over when Senator Clinton voted to invade Iraq. Pundits will give her "Screw 'em" suggestion more mileage.


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Future, Polls, Voting
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