(The following is a conversation between Hillary Clinton and a couple of friends when she thought that no one was recording or reporting. Unfortunately for her, in these days of cell phones and I-pods and Rodney King, everything is recorded.)
Unknown: "So I hear that you won Texas barely but only because you won El Paso by over 2 to 1?"
Hillary: "That was my strategy. I made a stop there and those people came out by the thousands. A week later, Bill filled a 12,000 seat basketball stadium. Then, I went back. Then Bill spent most of a Saturday at rallies all over different parts of town. The day before the primary, we even sent in that horse faced daughter of mine and people actually wanted to see her! I won big."
Unidentified: "So what do you plan to do now?"
Hillary: "Well, I can't visit every city like that and make people think that I would love to call it home, but I think I can do it with about 100."
Unknown: "What do you mean?"
Hillary: "Everyone loves to vote for a favorite son. If I make people in the 100 biggest Democratic cities think that I live there, I'm sure to get the votes and beat Obama and then McCain."
Unidentified: "How are you going to do that?"
Hillary: "Bill and I are taking the money we made off of our last couple of books and also taking the money we've put back for Chelsea's face lift. We're going to buy 100 furnished single wide mobile homes and put them on a half acre of land outside 100 big cities."
Unknown: "What will that do?"
Hillary: "Well, I've got to sleep somewhere every night. Every big city has an airport. I'll just fly into a different one of those cities every night and sleep in the mobile home. The local press will eat it up, I'll get all of my new neighbors votes, and I become favorite son in those cities and the surrounding areas. I'm even going to ride around in a fifth wheel trailer when I go rural and park overnight in their KOA campgrounds."
Unidentified: "What about the other people in those states? Cheney really wasn't from Wyoming, but claims it as his own and he got their votes. Will whole states vote for you because of this?"
Hillary: "You got to remember that the intellectuals in the party are all liberals. The bread and butter majority of our party are a bunch of brainless minority morons who'll vote their geography and their party, in that order. Yeah, I'll get the state's to vote for me....just like all those dumbass Mexicans in El Paso."