According to my definition of soul, electromagnetic radiation, last week, I was promenading in space, when I was accosted by a weird old man who introduced himself as the biblical Noah and CEO of new Ark in space. He added he was waiting for a new cargo. Perhaps due to my blank face, he inquired if I had any animosity toward men of God.
While we were both studying each other's expression, a spacecraft entered the orbit. It was marked Automated Transfer Vehicle (ATV), "Jules Verne", weighing 20 tons. When I looked down at the planet earth, I saw a huge crowd of VIPs cheering the launch!
Now, Noah, who looked like a wizard cartoon, demanded that I accompany him on board for an inspection. I obliged. He repeatedly asked me to read the labels and explain what they meant. Therefore, I went on saying, "Sir, this box contains fertilized eggs of humans and animals." He was perplexed to see such a small box could contain eggs of 50,000 species he had to load on his Ark.
As the inspection went on, we saw some very odd paraphernalia: male enhancement pumps, Viagra bottles, vibrators, inflatable dolls that carried glossy photos of some Hollywood celebrities as well as some domestic beasts! He inquired who the hell the users of those objects were. Remembering his petitioning God to destroy his sinful people, I asked if he still bore the same grudge against other non-heterosexuals. The answer was positive.
Now, he pointed to my private parts and demanded I expose my organ. I, embarrassed, inquired why. He said that the shape of a penis reveals if a man is a pedophile. Astounded, I asked for an explanation. He said pedophiles have a slender shaft and a glans. Additionally, the circumference of the glans is less than that of the shaft. This trick gives the shaft a better thrust, making it ideal for penetration into a tight orifice. Moreover, the pedophiles despise too much tolerance as that of a woman after her first childbirth. He assured me that his shaft and glans were bulky and impractical for that type of penetration!