Written by Pointer

Tuesday, 12 February 2008

image for OH, I, ET McCrone Am Back! This is NOT McCrone!

Sent to the mattresses as the Seecileeanns might say, after Sweet William's rejection (see Magazine, pointer, April 17, 2007) I, ET McCrone has emerged after a six month "Sleep" to rejoin the campaign which I practically and impractically began! First, a bit of history. . . Perhaps you remember 2007, January 22-23 when I first launched my campaign:

My fellow Britons and Americans, Colonizers and Colonists, I, Enon Tone McCrone want to be your Prezminister, your prime minister-president.

I got the idea when I realized that Bush-Blair had become such a blurry identity that it was really Blush and blush they should with the way they have embarrassed our once great countries. The rift between the colonies and Mother England must be bridged and that will be my first act as your Prez Minister- a bridge from York to New York.

Some say it can't be done . . . but I say to you if anyone understands ups and downs, it is the elevator operator. Yes, I, ET McCrone have been a lift operator in the city of my birth, Liverpool and I've steered a nyc elevator as well. Now in my adopted home of Tucson, as I am once again the one who lifts my fellow citizen toward the sky. The York-New York bridge will once again join our great nations through the innovation of the Horizontal Eliftovator.

Tubes, my Bryanks, Tubes, my Yanktons. . . The Horizontal Eliftovator packs happy travelers into containers like the ones at the bank drive-thrus, only bigger. Into tubes, we will be shot across the Lake from York to New and back. Think of the economic boost, think of the tourism and stock trading, think of the livestock sales and delivery (Don't think of the mad cow disease).

Join me my friends in this new bination and this new bridge in this new century. I think, Bill Clinton, in a prescient kind of way may have been inspired to have a tiny glimpse of the bridge to the 21stC that I, ET McCrone will build! Vote ET McCrone for PrezMinister-Low Class in Two Lands-Goooiiing Up!

Jan 23, 2007: OK so some wise guy engineers are questioning the soundness of my Bridge across the Lake (see I, ET McCrone, Jan 21). Normally I would dismiss these pencil-necked pocket-protecting geeks but since I'll probably need every vote I can get I will address their concerns in upcoming articles.

1) Nimrod Gottcha of Skimsthebottom, Reardon writes: How in the world will you generate enough wind to blow heavy objects across the ocean in a plastic tube? Normally I would tell Nimry to go blow hisself but in my new candidate decorum I will explain. You see, Dr Gottcha, we'll have really big vacuums at one end and really big fans at the other. How will we decide which country to place the devices in? We are now studying which nation blows and which nation sucks the most ...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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