Written by JAB

Saturday, 2 February 2008

image for Groundhog Day Punxsutawney phil,February 2,2008

PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA - This morning Punxsutawney Phil came out of his burrow on Gobbler's Hill saw his shadow,indicating six more weeks of winter weather. This tradition of Candlemas day came from the British Isles to Pennsylvania in 1841 and is still observed throughout the world as the day's other headlines attest.

Chappaqua, NY ~ Bill Clinton stepping from his front door didn't see Hillary's shadow,woohoo!six more weeks of chasing skirt.

Detroit ~ Stevie Wonder didn't see his shadow this morning,still blind for nearly six decades.

Dublin ~ Paddy Murphy,staggering out of the pub didn't realize it was his own shadow,until he felt something warm running down his pant leg- six too many Guinness.

Hackney Wick ~ Amy Winehouse saw her shadow,thought it was Kate Moss - six degrees of separation.

Baghdad ~ terrorist,crawled out of his hole,saw 56 shadows,didn't realize he just blew himself up - six less virgins.

Tempe, AZ ~ Tom Brady of the New England Patriots trying to avoid shadows - Giants by six.

Paris ~ Nicolas Sarkozy, slinking out of Carla Bruni's apartment,saw a strange profile in his shadow - six too many Viagra.

Los Angeles ~ Britney Spears sees multiple shadows - six days at the UCLA Psychiatric Hospital.

10 Downing Street ~ Gordon Brown sees his shadow realizes its mid day, time for lunch at his local,six Scottish eggs,please.

Belgravia ~ Heather Mills,walking down the steps sees her shadow bouncing - one leg missing six inches.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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