In a new series for TheSpoof.com this reporter has searched high and low for former suitors, dates and "steadies" of the leading democratic Candidate, Senator Clinton.
In our first suck and tell revelation, "Kneels" Jorgensen of Illinois provided us with the juicy details of a JHS tryst between himself and the JHS senator: "It was at a birthday party for one of those preteen hoes and we were playing seven minutes in heaven. That was a game where unlike spin the bottle when you and a partner were chosen, you got more than a kiss. Young Hills or should I say small hills and I went into the designated closet for our 420 seconds of luv. It began in its usually fumbling way as we tried to align lips and body parts in a feverish attempt at the sexual heaven the game promised and certainly none of our parents were experiencing.
"We managed a few quick lips brushes and some misplaced clothing grabs but suddenly the possibly future president clasped her sweet lips upon my neck and wouldn't let go. Due to my limited experience, (this episode took place long before I was awarded the appellation "kneels") I had no idea what was happening to me. Having just seen some of the afternoon TV soap opera, Dark Shadows, while I was home with the chicken pox, all I could think was that this weird chick was trying to suck my blood.
Try as I might to extricate myself from her grasp, the lips of this Junior High nerd, and some day former first lady and US Senator running for President just would not release me. Finally our seven minutes were up and we stumbled from our luv shack.
That hickey lasted seven weeks and believe me when I got home let's just say I got hell until Septuagesima Sunday!