As a proud American, I have tried to make my articles on TheSpoof.com family friendly and kind and gentle enough for even children to read before evening prayers. I am Jewish, but I have a Christian sensibility when it comes to our young people...the future of the world.
But today I was listening to Dr. Dean Edell, the radio doctor talking about a lady who has teeth in her vagina! Yeehaw! It's about time! I've had a very modest sex life, and the best I ever had was a woman, who I think had a meatloaf down there.
Dr. Edell also talked today about a new film, called "Teeth", about a lady's set of choppers down below. OK. If you're a woman, or a man who acts like a woman, maybe you should stop reading all about this great new sexy thing. But I warn you...you're gonna miss some kind of ride in a 1959, tarted up, really punk, pink Cadillac.
Children...please don't read any further, as some of the material is really sexy and even pump oven delight, so maybe watch cartoons until Mom gets home.
A woman with teeth "down there" changes, altogether, the meaning of "pussy eating". Now we must ask the question, what will our young miss with vaginal teeth eat in a normal day. Those of you who immediately thought of weiners are banned from Spoof till tomorrow.
But Jesus "Grover Cleveland" Christ! Jiminy Cricket and, well, even Goddamn (excuse me) but a woman who can bite a man more than he's ever been bitten before is the sexy equivalent to Reagan's bright shining light on a hill. It is the apogee of everything!
Gee wiz, it sounds almost like doggie love. You know how that works. When two dogs are making love in the street, the act is not over until the female dog releases the male dog from her "grip". I wonder if female dogs have special teeth too?
I guess I would be scared of a woman like that. Without being too graphic, I am used to women, now that I think about it, who have fish, and meatloaf, or maybe a steak (with bone in) in that area. But teeth? Could I handle a girl who could never make me want to go back to the old regular vaginas ever again? I would be so spoiled. It would be like a high speed modem. Once you've had that, dial up will never satisfy you.
And once I find a lady with teeth (I already knew about the other lips...but lets keep it clean, kids) and she treats me to a sacred, Godly, thing, I will report back here.
That is, if she lets me out.
God. What if she has a tongue too. It would the most beautiful face in the world.