Written by IN SEINE

Saturday, 26 January 2008

image for Muffled Cries As Tom Cruise Wraps Shrink It's a wrap Mr Cruise!

Muffled cries for help were heard early this morning and Paramedics were called to the Hollywood office of noted Psycholopgist,Dr L. Ron Hugebill where he was found wrapped in 'cling-film'.

Thanks to Closed-Circuit TV cameras, we know exactly who was responsible, as the entire incident was caught on camera.

What follows is an account of the incident:

World-renowned Scientolgist, Tom Cruise had been suffering some minor delusions because of his appearing in too many action films (and being married to Nicole Kidman). He was having trouble distinguishing fiction from reality and went to see his Psyc….. no, sorry, Reality Realignment Technician, He and was lying on the psychiatrist's couch as his therapist addressed him.

"Well, Tom. I'm pleased to announce that this will be our final session. I believe that you finally are cured of your paranoia."

"Yes, doctor. I am."

"I remember how you used to think that Men in Black were following you everywhere. But you don't believe that anymore, do you?"

"No, doctor. I don't"

"I remember also how you used to think that Black Helicopters were hovering over your house. But you don't believe that anymore either, Do you?"

"No, doctor. I don't"

"Finally, I remember how you used to think that CIA agents were monitoring your mail, bugging your phone, and snooping into your affairs. But you don't believe that anymore either, do you?"

"No, doctor. I don't. Thanks to your therapy, I no longer harbour such delusions. In fact, you've been so helpful to me, that I'm really sorry that I have to gag you now," said Tom, as he pulled out a a roll of cling-film.

The psychiatrist was shocked.

"Wait a minute. Why do you have to silence me?"

"You know too much." Mr Cruise was recorded as saying.

Within minutes Tom had the psychiatrist trussed up like a turkey and covered him with the wrapping material.

That's 'shrink-wrapping' scientology style!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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