Written by kungfuiceskater

Saturday, 24 April 2004

In its continuing attack on John Kerry-Heinz, the White House announced that it would release pictures even scarier than earlier released pictures of William Jefferson Clinton ("The Bill") with his “damage-control” adviser, Oma-Ho-Sa. Even though a picture of The Bill with Oma-Ho-Sa is widely available, The Bill quickly announced "I never had work relations with that woman and I never inhaled any of her gang-banging bro’s chronic. Read my lips, I say."

Anonymous sources told us last night that, "The W", the man with his finger on the button, make no mistake about it, authorized the release of photos of Democratic presidential hopeful John Kerry-Heinz with Oma-Heidi, if a video of Osama in jail shouting “Allah bless Texas”, is not widely broadcast by election day 2004. Condi agreed that it made sense for “national security” reasons and declared that she was so turned on by the W's candidness that she thought “her Bush deserved a "raise"”. Notably flustered, W responded "I get frequent raises from Laura, so why don't you go get some 9/11 Commission dick. Just kidding, I meant just get some dick. Emm, I meant, just get Dick Clark".

Heidi Breastless was not available for comments as her white, Haitian, voodoo father had asked her to undertake a strange and ancient ritual, involving shock treatment, guaranteed to cure her “odd”, “sporadic” “incomprehensible” behavior.

When asked to comment on remarks about Oma-Ho-Sa, Oma-Heidi said "Ahh, your microphone just hit my head. I'm gonna sue you. Classless bastard, (inaudible mumbling combined with white voodoo incantations), MOTHER-XXXUCKERS@@@!!!!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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