Professional Miserabilist, see-er of empty glasses and man old enough to remember when God was a boy, Victor Meldrew does believe the following things:
1) I can't believe it's not butter
2) The Grass is Greener on the other side
3) What Sandra at Number 30 does when Rob is away
4) The new curtains at number 16
5) What they play in the charts
6) The new bus time table for the number 19
7) What Gladys said to Deirdre at the WI stall
8) The Price of Fish
9) Insincere smiles
10) The distance between here and there.
When asked for his opinion about his list, the cheeky young scamp said: 'I don't believe it'