Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 13 November 2018

image for New Driving Game Provides Ultimate Challenge For Gamers! Battambang Driving!

A new driving game is set to break all sales records when it is released at the end of this month, and gamers have said they cannot wait to get their hands dirty with it!

The exciting new potential market bestseller - 'Battambang Driving' - is one that will have players on the edge of their motorcycle seats, as they traverse the Battambang countryside on their way into the city, aiming to survive the rigorous journey whilst frantically battling against all kinds of unusual and exotic dangers en route.

There were will be few, if any, players that have encountered these kind of challenges in the past. Motorcycles have a maximum speed of 35mph, for realism. The game can be played interactively, again for realism, by as many as 1,000 players at the same time.

Level 1: The journey begins. Players set out for Battambang on a motorcycle. The first challenge is to avoid chickens which run out from shack-like houses at either side of the road. Touch one, and you're off the bike, and out of the game at the first hurdle.

Level 2: Having safely negotiated the foul fowlness, players are now faced with a slower foe: ducks and their lines of straggling ducklings. They are more difficult to miss than the chickens. Don't touch one!

Level 3: The next obstacles to avoid are the cows that are grazing on the grass at the side of the road. At least, they are until YOU approach, when they will suddenly, and incomprehensibly, walk into the path of your bike, and with a sickening thud, you are out of the game.

Level 4: The cows have been skillfully avoided, but now an even more dangerous hazard: schoolchildren. There IS a crossing, but few of them use it, crossing just wherever they like, and, often, right in front of your bike.

Level 5: OK, you're through the 'living' elements of the game for now. The thing is, the road itself is the new danger. It's cracking up, and there are huge potholes everywhere! They're not easy to spot either. Be careful!

Level 6: Mudmire! There has been torrential rain for several days. You couldn't even say the road was flooded - the 'road' is no more! What's left would be better described as a muddy quagmire with hidden dangers within the brown sludge. You're running out of time, but speeding will inevitably end only one way - nastily.

Level 7: If, by some miracle, you managed to come through the mudmire unscathed, you might meet a tractor in this level. In fact, you'll meet several, veering from side-to-side on the narrow road, with their huge wheels capable of squashing you and your motorbike to a pancake-shaped mess. Watch out!

Level 8: You've seen big trucks before, but they most probably weren't loaded up with 5 tons of earth! These invariably drive on the wrong side of the road - your side - and they tend to be driven by erratic drivers, or ones who are 'ready for a kip'. Careful...

Level 9: You're approaching the city! But beware! There's still the tricky 'Hairpin Bend Road' to navigate, full of menace, especially when flatbed trucks overloaded with combine harvesters are squeezing past you within half-an-inch of your noggin. Get past this, and you'll be in Battambang...

Level 10: You've made it this far; it would be a shame to crash out now. But that's what the Death Squad motorcyclists of Battambang will be aiming to make you do! You have to negotiate crumbling, uneven, potholed streets, with other road users and the Death Squad jumping out of junctions, racing round roundabouts, riding on the wrong side of the road, overtaking on the inside, turning without indicators, breaking all the speed limits, pulling wheelies in your face, without helmets, or any awareness of anyone being on the roads but themselves.

If you made it, you're clearly a decent motorcyclist.

The game's developer says, it may be just a game to players, but, to some people, it's a death-defying daily ride to work.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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