Written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 11 July 2018

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image for Dia treintetres at the Nutters Beach Club and guess what? An Italian giant has attempted to buy our joint for 99 million big ones!! Life aint bad with 150 million big ones on a "Slow Junk to China!"

Several sun tanned, black suited, with thin-lip moustaches, and Dolce Cabana sunglasses stood in front of the doors before opening time, smoothly demanding to talk to the owner in heavy, Northern Italian accents. So, Jaggedone, arriving on his pet donkey with his Chief Chinese Chef, WAN-KIN-DIK, sat on the rear end with a carrot, agreed to talk to the mysterious chaps?

"Are youe de infamoso Jaggedeone?"

"Si"

"mia bosse wantse toe buye youre club for 99 millione grande ones ande calle ita de NUMERO 7 Club, OKe?"

"Non"

WAN-KIN-DIK looked at Jaggedone as if to say, "are you completely fucking NUTS!"

"Si"

"Signores, please tell your boss to stuff his offer up the rear end of a Fiat exhaust pipe and make sure that Numero 7 stays where he is because then the others will at last have a chance of winning the Champions League, he's a f'ing has been!"

"OK, wea willa tella our boss wadda you say anda do nota bea surprised ifa hea sendsa de mafia ina toa capture Volga Olga (no Italian A necessary for Volga Olga)!"

"OK, if he wants Volga Olga for 150 million big ones and keeps our name, OK, SI, deal is done!"

WAN-KIN-DIK gives a dastardly Chinese snigger thinking, "clever Jaggedone, instead of a has been superstar taking over the club, we get 150 million big ones and Volga Olga gets to bang Ronnie for nothing! Wadda a deal!"

Jaggedone and his WAN-KIN-DIK were last seen smoking huge Cuban cigars floating on a "Slow junk to China" where he will be opening a brand new Nutters Beach Club hoping to rip off a few Chinese billionaires with his insane, Brit charm. As for Volga Olga, and other club personnel, we doped them with opium and smuggled them out JIT!

Adios los locos et arrivederci Torino (You can have him!)

Life aint bad with 150 million big ones on a "Slow Junk to China!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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