Si, Si, Senores et Senoritas, the Brit 'heatwave' has hit us too in a big banana and lettuce way!
Chief Chinese chef, WAN-KIN-DIK, has been squabbling with Volga Olga over his lettuce leaves that she uses to cover her shriveled nipples and undercarriage, they have shrunk!!
So Volga Olga took banana leaves and bananas instead (for external use only, naughty you!). The leaves shrunk too and her bananas turned soggy and brown; UUKK!
So her dance routing tonight will be her naked, nympho torso covered in holly leaves that are not affected by the heatwave, but very prickly!
UK Lettuce is off the menu so WAN-KIN-DIK has knocked up a Chinese version instead; Flogs Legs dlipped in a Sloya Slauce, (oops, sorry les Francaises, that's plagiarism, but who gives a merde, qui, qui!)
Our Nutters Beach Club heatwave is much better than the UK version because we are used to it; Volga Olga turns the heat up every night!
Adios, aufwiedersehen, hasta manana hombres, you sweaty, lettuce-less Brits!