Written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 3 June 2018

Dia/Dag/Day ocho/acht/eight, and the list of NUTTERS demanding entry to our fab NUTTERS BEACH CLUB is growing by the second, wonderful!

All global NUTTERS are welcome apart from FAKE ones (You know who you are!)

Firstly, I would like to congratulate Mr. Don Loren Hughes (a total esoteric, occult NUTTER) for obtaining the honorable position of 'pissed up barman'. The wages are crap, but it's so much fun!

After a rock and rolling weekend, members of our staff, WAN-KIN-DIK, Volga Olga, Sir Francis, and new boy Don, have all sodded off to church to ask for forgiveness, but the priest was too busy stroking his choirboys (???)

However, WAN-KIN-DIK, our superb, 5 star Michelin Star, Chinese Chef, managed to boil up a crustacean soup for the starving thousands (No! Not the 5000, they were fed dead fish from the Dead Sea!). However, one crafty crayfish, managed to escape after entangling and pulling out his claws from the rest of the 'death-sentenced' creepy crawlies! Cheek buggar!

Chef, WAN-KIN-DIK, saw the dastardly crustacean escape and bolt for the door and, trod on the bastard! Not like the one that got 900000 views on You Tube and now lives in a fish bowl! Sorry, animal lovers, but we are basically veggies, and only my WAN-KIN-DIK likes to suck on crab, crayfish, or whatever has 4 legs (or two) and if he sees anything crawling across the floor, he'll bung it in the soup too. (Thank the heavens he lets Jaggedone's CIA 'Cockroach Infiltration Army' battalions live!)

Volga Olga, Don, and Sir Francis, with his deaf, dumb, blind parrot, are all returning from church after attempting to redeem themselves once again; WAN-KIN-DIK, no chance, and will soon be entertaining you all this evening!

See you tomorrow, hasta luego hombres et quapa, half-naked senoritas!

Jaggedone's CIA soldiers are laughing all the way not to the cooking pot after being spared by WAN-KIN-DIK!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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