Written by Jaggedone

Thursday, 31 May 2018

We have moved our exclusive Nutters Beach Club location from Sax (not with an E, but with an E, cryptic quiz time?) to Double Dutch, flat as a pancake land, clogs, and windmills, but no Don Quixote prototypes or Dykes on bikes.

The fly attacks were getting too much, so WAN-KIN-DIK boiled a few in the soup and told punters they were black peppercorns; dumb-butts! The Guardia Civil then closed the joint down after Brit, beer guzzling, beer-bellied, tattooed, bald-headed terrorists (sorry tourists) complained about having flies in their noodle soup.

So, we did a runner; packed Volga Olga, and my WAN-KIN-DIK, onto a Ryanair cheap flight and landed in good old Holland; godverdomme!

However, before we left, a rousing evenings entertainment was had and, a special guest arrived just in time to tell the world:

"Fuck Real Madrid, adios amigos!" Qui, qui, footy fans, Zinedine Zidane, after stopping sucking Ronaldo's million buck rear-end and, getting 'Bale' out of 'Bail', was given VIP treatment, and to celebrate, Messr Zidane, gave a rousing rendition of Plastic Bertrand's 'Ca Plane Pour Moi' (English = Stuff Madrid, I love Messi!)

(Here for all you punk Parisian nutters: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTo79sPCVXA)

PSG, have offered Zidane 500£ million to play for them, but he refused because he hates Neymar and they have enough veterans in their ranks!

Footy groupie, and our regular paint-stripper,Volga Olga, offered him a quickie in the backroom. He also refused because he's a Muslim, but told Volga Olga, "a droopy Bill Clinton is better than a Bush in Bagdad!"

Notwithstanding the opportunity to give Bill a 'blow', Volga Olga was seen disappearing into the mens boudoir with Hilary scratching her bald head.

So, now we have opened up in good old Holland, on the beach at Zandvoort, with bare bums, joints, free sex and, everything typical Dutch;

Tot ziens, tot morgen, et 'hasta luego' España!!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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