Written by Jaggedone

Monday, 28 May 2018

WAN-KIN-DIK's latest creation, haute cuisine 5 star, Shepard Dogs Pie (veggie/vegan version), went down like a tin of Chappi and the diners went barking mad.

However the highlights of the evening were:

Illegal immigrant US presidents attempting to crash the Nutters Beach Club party, luckily, we had a Trump card (very punny), Ex-shot putting GDR Olympic, gold medal winning athlete, our doorman, door-woman, (or whatever it is after the transgender op), Heidi Schwarz-und-Negger, thwarting the attempt, single-handed, led by peanut picking Carter, beaten in the Bush, Bush, Bill, prince of knee knobs, and of course Humpty Trumpty. She/he, sent em packing like a bunch of preying hyenas, and now the Nutters Beach club only allows official illegals to enter the club, no fake ones, Viva Zapata!

Sir Francis (without his Duckie) and his parrot, totally pissed, told a swashbuckling eulogy and, the place rock and rolled, like a storm around the Cape (if you have one), and brought the house down without an Hawaiian volcanic eruption!

Here it is (spoken in Pirate gobbledygook): "Aye buxom wenches and laggards, I is the reincarnated, infamous Black Bladder and ere perched on me shoulder is Blooderick, better known as Polly. We raped, plundered, sunk Spanish galleons laden with gold and ended up stone broke because the gold sunk to the bottom of the Caribbean and, me divers forgot their Yellow Submarine. Slide that bottle of Captain Morgen down the bar, Jaggedone, and stop taking the Jolly Roger piss!"

The crowd roared to see such fun; Sir Francis and his parrot (not his duck), fell off their bar stool to raging applause, pissed as newts!

What a grand evening and many more to come. It is now time to cool my throbbing head with WAN-KIN-DIK's hangover special, doggies tales dunked in cats pee (of course veggie style)!

Adios, hasta manana!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
More by this writer
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story



Go to top
57 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more