Written by Matt Birkenhauer

Thursday, 22 February 2018

image for With a Little Help from Putίn Oh, I get by with a little help from Putίn

(With apologies to the Beatles, and with sympathy for Melania)

What would you do if I screwed a porn star?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your eyes and I’ll tweet something wrong
And I’ll try not to lie through my teeth.

Oh, I get by with a little help from Putίn
Mmm, I can lie with a little help from my friends
Mmm, I’m going to try with a little help from Russians

What do I do when my love is away?
Can I find somebody else to bone?
How do I feel at the end of the day?
I feel sad if I can’t find my phone.

Oh, I can lie with a little help from my friends
Mmm, I’m going to try with a little help from Russians
Mmm, I get by with a little help from Putίn

Do you neeeeeeeed anybody?
I just need someone to bone
Could it beeeeeeee anybody?
As long as my wife doesn’t know

Would you believe in a love at first sight?
Yes, I’m certain that it happened with Putίn
What do you see when you turn out the light?
I see Mueller and I’m really frightinned.

Oh, I get by with a little help from Russians
Mmm, I can lie with a little help from my friends
Mmm, I get by with a little help from Putίn

Do you neeeeeeed anybody?
I just need someone to bone
Could it beeeeeee anybody?
As long as my wife doesn’t know

Oh, I get by with a little help from Russians
Mmm, I can lie with a little help from my friends
Yes, I get by with a little help from Putίn
With a little help from Putίn!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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