Written by Mike Peril

Saturday, 20 January 2018

Melania, I never meant for this to happen, but I confess to you now, you deserve to know the truth. I am Donald's mistress.

I'm so sorry. Like you, I saw the opportunity and I took it. I regret this now, but Donald won't let us stop.

I wish I could tell you my name. I hope there aren't some hicks out there who could figure it out.

You may want to get out in the nick of time, just hail a cab and leave the country. Sometimes I wish I could.

As John Kelly and I have discussed, some people call Donald a con, but I just don't see him that way.

Even if you did see my name in print, you would probably look the other way. I sure wish Secret Service did. Those guys are creepy when they leer. Stormy Daniels would know what to do.

I just want to put in my time and be done. I'll be very glad when this is done.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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