Written by Al N.

Friday, 30 September 2016

image for Scamatology Running Out of Third World Countries to Recruit In The Scamatologists will leave behind their well-maintained building.

Nukuʻalofa, Tonga According to the Tonga Police, in the last Third World outpost of the Cult of Scamatology, the cult has been ordered to leave the island immediately, and to release all the children they've managed to secrete away from the country.

The cult has been unable to recruit anywhere in the world due to the unpopularity of their cult, the bad publicity given it by recent books, documentaries, and defections of their most famous members, the Scamatologists have been ordered to leave their last outpost without any further bullbaiting or KSWing. It used to be that they would recruit people in Third World countries, and then send them on a religious visa to the United States, where they would be put in substandard housing and to do all the dirty work the Scamatologists didn't want to do themselves.

"Actually, it was the fact that we hate Tom Snooze films that was the straw that broke the camel's back. When he announced yet ANOTHER Mission Impossible sequel, we retaliated in the only way we knew how," spoke a Tonga official.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: cult, Scientology
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