Written by Mike Peril

Thursday, 9 June 2016

image for Dick on Van Dyke Andy Dick finds his Inner Van Dyke

We are here today with Andy Dick to get his impressions of 90 year old comedic actor Dick Van Dyke. Andy Dick is best known as a comedian himself, having been a stock character on NewsRadio, a 7th place finisher with other C level celebrities on Dancing with the Stars, and having driven his car at least once into a utility pole while completely high on drugs. He has been accused of public groping and indecent exposure several times among other similar incidents.

So, Andy, I would love to get your thoughts on Dick Van Dyke.

I haven't thought about him much lately, but he's a great comedic actor for sure, great at physical comedy.

Great dancer too, don't you think?

Yeah, yeah, but I dance too, I assume you researched my stint on Dancing with the Stars?

Yes, seventh place, very good. But not exactly Dick Van Dyke caliber, no?

True but I didn't have Mary Poppins or Mary Tyler Moore as my partner.

Did you have a crush on either Mary?

Poppins for sure, but maybe I took the whole "spoonful of sugar" thing too far.

Have you ever had the sense that you have been wasting your career away with drugs and abusive behavior in a way perhaps that Dick Van Dyke did not?

I haven't thought about it but you are depressing me now.

Well 5 Emmys, Tony, Grammy, SAG Lifetime Achievement, the long running Dick Van Dyke Show. More than 150 episodes on that show alone. Now how long did the Andy Dick Show run on MTV?

21 episodes. Not sure if all of them aired though.

Right. 21 episodes, not bad! Would you say perhaps that Dick Van Dyke may have been a better role model, than say, Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab?

Hey, am I going to score some drugs with you or is this really an interview about Dick Van Dyke? I thought you were just joking about that.

I see, I am the playing the comedian and you are playing the straight guy.

Sometimes the straight guy is funnier.

Good point. Thank you Andy, and good luck with your continued success.

Well that was a waste.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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