Written by Matt Birkenhauer

Friday, 13 May 2016

image for "A Day In The Life" (of a Libertarian) Found his hat and grabbed his cane / So the homeless he could brain.

He read Ayn Rand today oh boy
About a selfish prick who made the grade
And though the man was rather sad
Well I just had to laugh
He sounded halfway daft

He had a heart made out of stone
He didn't care that some were hungry now
A crowd of people stood and stared
They'd seen his face before
Nobody was really sure
If he was spawned from hell's hot floor?

I saw a film today oh boy
Based on a behemoth by Ms. Ayn Rand
A crowd of critics turned away
But I just had to look
Having just read Rand's book
So full of lowbrow schlock.

"Woke up, fell out of bed
Dragged a comb across his head
Found his way downstairs and turned on FOX
And angrily he pulled on both his socks
Found his hat and grabbed his cane
So the homeless he could brain
Found his way to work and had a smoke
And someone spoke and he dreamt of Atlas Shrugged."

I read Ayn Rand this year oh boy
Four thousand pages of puerile hot air
And though her thoughts were rather small
Some fools are still in awe
Now they know how many moochers they can look down on
They'd love to turn you on . . . .

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: ayn rand
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