Wednesday, 20 April 2016

It used to be, you had to keep it all inside. Mommy said, "Play nice or you'll get a time-out." Well, you didn't want to play nice. You wanted to punch little Jimmy in the face and call little Susie an ugly whore. But you couldn't or Mommy or Teacher or Mr Policeman would make you face the consequences of your actions.

So what did you do? You played 'Grand Theft Auto' and 'Call of Duty' to sublimate your socially proscribed urges. And if someone asked why you played these violent games, you claimed it was just for fun; you weren't really greedy or angry or racist or xenophobic.

Well, maybe you do have a few antisocial impulses, just a few really. That doesn't make you a bad person, does it? What you need is some person in authority to give you permission to realize your whole self. To let you fully blossom, so to speak.

Your time has finally come! The candidacy of Donald J. Trump for President of the United States now allows you to fully self-actualize. No longer is it about being good or bad, it's about being a winner or a loser. (And there's nothing the Donald hates more than a loser.)

So. Say all those things you've always wanted to say and if anyone gets in your way, punch them in the face. Free yourself from all moralistic shackles.

One caveat, though. Little Jimmie is now Big Jim and if you punch him in the face he will hurt you badly. And if you call Susie an ugly whore, she may just kick you in the nuts. But that's simply the price you pay for your newfound Freedom to be You. Or, as it's better known, acting like an asshole.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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