Written by Cal Jennings

Monday, 23 April 2007

I am a George W. Bush American

I, the signer of this document, am a George W. Bush American. I support our President in his decision to fight terrorists in Iraq. I feel that George W. Bush is a Christian president and has our best interest at heart. I agree with his limitations on the Constitution and the Bill of Rights to protect us from those who would do us harm in this country. I understand that we must give up some of our freedoms to be free from terrorists in America. I would blindly follow George Bush and our troops into hell!

I agree with George W. Bush's financial policies. I understand that if the corporations don't profit, millions of people will be out of jobs. I know that corporate profit helps spur competition in our great Capitalist country. Small businesses may whine about unfair competition, but where would they be without the corporations to create their products?

I pledge our lives and our freedom to the America that George W. Bush is creating.

The undersigned agree that George W. Bush is a great president. The undersigned agree to pledge their loyalty through thick and thin. The undersigned also agree to receive microchip implants freely and without quarrel which will enable them to be tracked by satellite wherever they go to keep them safe from terrorists. The undersigned also pledge their souls and the souls of their first-born male now and in the afterlife. In the event that there are no firstborn males, the contract will default to the first-born female. In the event that the undersigned has no children, any family relation may be selected at the discretion of George W. Bush. It is preferred, but not required, that the undersigned sign in blood.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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