Pyongyang, North Korea Rotund North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un issued some new threats to the Western World, in retaliation for the latest round of sanctions on North Korea by the UN.
Kim Jong-Un will:
*No longer allow his all-girl band to travel outside the country.
*No longer let tourists photograph the giant Kim Song-Il statue.
*Flood the Internet with penile enlargement spam.
*Make millions of phony phone calls advertising home security systems.
*Interrupt regular broadcasting with Pauly Shore and Ed Wood movies.
*Order 12 pizzas for everyone in the U.S. and have them all delivered at the same time.
Kim Jong Un then announced that this is only the beginning!