Written by rfreed

Tuesday, 22 September 2015

A German farmer hears a knock upon his door early one morning. Upon opening it he is greeted by the sight of a bedraggled immigrant family outside with a number of children. They are wearing tattered and torn clothes native to their area of the globe.

"Good day!" says the lightly bearded, smiling man in heavily accented English who must be the father of the family. "We have just snuck across your border and would like to get the generous asylum that you Germans offer. We escaped from our country where we have never learned to get along or assimilate with the minorities in our own land and have infighting within our own religious sects to the point where we are willing to brutally kill, maim and blow each other up. Due to the negativities in our religious and political beliefs we are unable to maintain a stable government and resort to killing and imprisoning each other over petty things."

"We subjugate our women, our children and our minorities to the point where they cannot even maintain any sort of profitable or independent lifestyle. Our women are virtual slaves to every lust or drudgery we men inflict upon them by men from childhood to adulthood."

"Our religion and our police state regimes keep us so backward socially that we are eternally in poverty and so crippled intellectually that we still exist at a medieval level and are unable to compete financially with the rest of the world around us."

"That is why we are escaping our negative society and wandering to your land so that you can clothe and feed us and give us monetary handouts and jobs and welfare and all the other benefits that your people have worked for decades to develop. We feel that because we are poor and unwilling to face the problems we have in our own lands we will invade your and share our problems with you. We watched closely for the last couple decades as you took in and sheltered immigrants from every other catastrophe in the European area and feel you are obligated to do the same with us."

"To get here we paid what little money we had to criminals to illegally bring us to your western lands against the will of your leaders at great risk to ourselves, our wives and our children. We then showed disrespect for the borders and laws of every country we tramped through to get here and rejected offers of asylum at those places because we know Germany is the golden goose of Europe and we can get richer here."

"Once established here we will refuse to fully adapt into your land, form our own enclaves and our young will eventually become angry with you and plot against you to your own disadvantage."

"So, where are the apartments you must give us and the food and the clothing?"

While all this was being said, the German farmers very old mother doddered slowly up to the door and listened in to what was being said.

"Himmel willen!" she cried. "We rebuilt this land back up from the ashes after an Austrian, another Auslander, came in and dictated what we were to do and how. We had to clean up after his mess and I don't see why we should have to clean up after yours too!" She then slammed the door in his face.

The Mideast father was stunned by this for a moment, then finally turned to his wife and said, "OK, let's try the next farmhouse."


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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