Written by Michael Balton

Saturday, 29 August 2015

image for How come the illegal drug market never crashes? Nixon introduced Elvis to meth and fried banana sandwiches.

1. Junkies are smarter than brokers.

2. The illegal drug market is protected by American law enforcement. Barney Frank patrols Wall Street.

3. Pull over. I think your tail light is out.

4. The illegal drug emarket is protected by politicians who get rich on bribes.

5. Assume the position.

6. People don't realize that prohibition puts the profitability into trafficking drugs. In other words, the anti-drug laws fund the cartels, the gangs and the dealers by driving up the price of drugs. End prohibition and you put them all out of business.

7. The fix is in.

8. A dose of drugs is more transcending than an ATM transaction.

9. If there's a Rock 'n Roll Heaven, it's filled with drug abusers.

10. The war on drugs and the Drug Enforcement Administration was brought to you by Richard M. Nixon, who once described himself to the American public as "not a crook."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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