Written by Brett Taylor

Tuesday, 14 July 2015

Just released today, July 14, Harper Lee's novel "Go Set a Watchman" is already dividing readers with its surprisingly mature content. The reviews are mixed, though the book has been awarded "Most Pretentious Title of the Year" by the National Booksellers' Association of America.

The book chronicles the life of Scout, formerly the plucky heroine of Lee's beloved "To Kill a Mockingbird" as she grows into a sexually liberated woman while visiting New Yorl City. Returning to her hometown of Monroeville, Alabama, she causes quite a stir. In this excerpt she visits Boo Radley, the older, somewhat "simple" man who rescued her as a child.

"I don't understand what's happened to you, Miss Scout. You used to be such a beloved local heroine. Now it's as if something's happened to you. You've done changed."

Boo stared downward at the hardwood floor of dilapidated shack with gloomy eyes, not noticing that the young lady before him was slowing undoing the buttons of her blouse. When he looked up he was startled to see her revealed befor him in a tight-fitting leather outfit, one that hugged her voluptuous figure so closely her firm breasts threatened to burst free like huge ripe melons about to burst forward from a Georgia vine, which is exactly what they were. Metaphorically, that is. They weren't actual melons, they were breasts.

"Never mind all that, Boo Radley. The past is past, and innocence is dead. It's time to embrace the day. Embrace the bold power of carnal lust."

"I don't know much about that, m'am."

"I thought so. Tell the truth, have you ever had a woman?"

"Had?"

"Have you ever possessed a woman, in your bed? Felt the wet quiver of feminine lust in your very own shack, breathed in the lusty air in the warm Georgia night?"

"No, ma'am. I never have."

"I thought not. Well, you better hurry, because you're getting pretty old."

"Sorry, m'am. I don't want to be tainted by that sort of thing. It just ain't my way."

"I've had every man in this stinking Alabama hick town and I won't stop till I'm done. Do you hear me? One dumb hick won't stand in the way of my lurid plans."

She slammed her right stiletto heel on the mattress of his bed, maintaining her firm stance on the floor with a surprising grace that could only be maintained by someone who'd done this sort of thing a few times before. "Lick my shoe, you simpleminded pig!"

His face looked as glum as ever, as glum as the waning night outside. Yet his voice was firm with proud conviction. "No ma'am," he said. "I won't do it."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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