Written by TM_Dealer

Sunday, 3 May 2015

Back in the UK, it is not well good, but even it is not like the USA and the authentic hip-hop musics, our Dave has made a well good rap what is telling us what is what.


Yo I'm Dave, got a Cam, and I like voting that way,

Down from me crib in the commons,

Lil bit o' wur, bit o' way,

I'm like the common pleb's friend, endless key chain like a bell-end

I've as many flashy chains as 2Chainz or possibly more,

So throw me some love as I tax up your front door


Me too poor to own a racing car, but enough dollar to be air guitar

I say bigger than Blair, more musical than Castro

Don't tell me I'm worse cos I cram dollar at my Bistro


Got a baseball cap on my front bench, it's bigger than the Hague

Proles lovin' my ballgag chains, cos I'm long-hairdier than Jimmy Page

The white aristocrats love me cos I'm whiter than them

I'm your Gorgeous Dear Leader, I'm Britain's PM


Don't tell me this is sh** is appropriation,

I'm the leader of your glorious nation

I ain't into positive stereotyping

Cos untouchable politicos like me ain't into rhyming


What rhymes with white? Dave Cam your PM ain't sh**e

My mate got a garage full of Iraqi bodies and a sack full of dollars

Don't tell me I can't imitate,

'Cos I give my cronies a well bangin' rate


You might say this is fake and I'm disrespecting minorities

But I'm the Prime Minister of My England, I'm like a One-Pr***-Majority

One over zero, just do the math darling,

I'm bigger than Elvis, and even bigger than little Elvis


Don't make me sad, cos I'm everyone's dad,

But not in a sleazy way, more in a local produce cheesy way

I'm into market protectionism, just 'cos I can't stand perfectionism

All these gutter plebs are practically libertarian

But I'm pretty flexible, almost Unitarian


One Glorious Cameron will guide you to the driest of pastures

Now shut it you plebs or I'll take care of your fathers

There's no gutter scum can compete with a world leader like me

So throw in your lot with me, I'm slick like PVC

There's no one compares to Our Dave with his Cam

So don't vote for other parties, leaving our, sorry MY Britain in a jam


There's no one so charming as Dave of your Tories

Now shut up and vote for me, I'm brighter than Borealis Aurore

The pleb scum who hate me they don't know s*** about me

Now bahgger off to that plebiscite and blahddy elect me


I'm Dave, I'm your friend, your immaculate buddy

Now give me your vote or I'll make your handsome headie-poos bloody.

Your Dave is the best, he's the greatest of leaders

So don't you chop down this Global-Anglo-Village cedar.

Dave loves you better, so forget all the rest

So give us your sterlings, another war for one's chest.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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